Bitch and moan

Do you ever have those creative days where it's really hard to put together a thesis statement?

This is one of those days. I don't know if it's the muggy, rainy heat or what but I am feeling seriously out of focus at the moment. This afternoon after I got off of work I put on a movie and proceeded to play computer solitaire for over an hour. Somehow it felt justified because I made it to the post office to mail a package and got myself a new pair of pants. I mean, my other pants are seriously falling apart so it was time. But still, not exactly earth shattering events here.

I think that afternoons have become a strange time in the land of Adrienne. This is due to the fact that my existence has become inverted to what the normal person might experience. Generally, I am work by 6:30 or 7am in the morning. I tend to get off in the middle of the day and then have several hours in which I have little or nothing to do. Then, around dinner time I go to a performance, either mine or someone else's and generally go out afterwards. Then I get up and do it again.

Which means my day is very long. Actually, now that I look at things, perhaps my afternoon "listlessness" is really just sleep deprivation. Truth be told most nights when I get home, though physically tired I still need to mentally unwind a little. Which means of course more computer solitaire. I've been trying to always make sure I've got music ideas for my upcoming show playing so that I can rationalize the time as "unstructured creative meandering." It's surprising really how little sleep one can start to function on and still feel normal.

The only real sign that something is amiss in the corps d'adrienne is that small aspects of my body have started to rebel. My stomach for one, has decided to play this game wherein it reacts violently to dairy and caffeine. Which for a person who works at coffee and cheese stores is a really unfortunate circumstance. Today I actually made myself a diet, decaf iced pumpkin spice latte. With Soy. Is it wrong that a large part of me feels like a bad person?

Meat is a little iffy at the moment as well so I've resigned myself into a semi-vegan diet the past couple of days. When I break in moments of weakness I am rewarded with searing stabs throughout the abdominal region. I'd like people to note that it really is related to the food, I feel fine otherwise and generally receive aftershocks within a half hour of transgression. Just in case you were worried about some more serious issue... as if my inability to consume the delight that is milk-product isn't serious enough. It as though a moral deity from above wants me to be punished for the ills perpetrated on animals. This from the girl who used to be known as "The Iron Stomach." Oh how the mighty have fallen.

My face has also decided to explode and more recently taken my back along with it. This development is disturbing most especially as I never had bad skin in high school. I fell asleep countless times in heavy grease paint that marinated my skin until I showered in the morning. I used "regular" old soap, it was just never an issue. Now I have no idea what to do about the spectacular battle being waged upon me. I know, I know, boo fucking hoo from those of you who had to deal with this during the most turbulent years of one's life, but at least then most people where in the same boat. I'm stuck with teenager problems in the middle of my twenties.

Other than that the only other real exciting addition to myself has been an enormous number of mosquito bites. They are terribly impressive in both size and number. And man oh man are they good to scratch. I know I shouldn't but it is a sin that is so terribly sweet to carry out. The screen on my window fell into the backyard of another apartment and until I get a new one, every night I become a veritable feast for my buzzing friends, prone, unmoving, and full of blood being that I am while sleeping.

Whiney-pants Adrienne today. Did I mention I'm having a hard time coming up with a topic to post about today? Tough life...