Awesome Sauce

I wrote some time ago about my quest for awesomeness. The plan got put on the back burner for a while and I'm slightly ashamed about my lack of action on the awesome front. I must admit my attempts to learn Russian have been middling at best. While I can tell you I'm American and want to know where Red Square is, I'd probably not do fantastically well under the Moscow secret spy conditions I really hope to attain proficiency at. I haven't totally conquered the impulse to drink girly drinks at bars, for example last week I ordered a cocktail with pomegranate juice in it. But, after a semi-hectic past couple of months I have finally settled enough to begin learning my "awesome skilz." What you may ask are "awesome skills"? Well, first they aren't "skills", they're "skilz," an important distinction beyond just the spelling. Really what it boils down to is that I need to learn how to do something that no one would expect me to be able to do if taking me in at face value. And with that I present to you my brand new and shiny babies:



Aren't they precious?

Yes, what you see before you is a photograph of my Hibben Thrower Triple Knife Set. They are beautiful. They are a thing of power. And I must admit, they are now officially the coolest thing I own.

Before I progress in my discussion of my new hobby we have to take a moment to thank Brad. Brad and I developed my awesome theory together, we decided mutually as I explained before, that I needed a cool skill and what better skill to acquire than knife throwing. It's handy, useful in combat and defense situations and has the added bonus of awesome accessory power. But most importantly he is the one who got me my new knives. A friend who buys you a three pack of deadly weapons is a trust-worthy friend indeed.

So, dear readers, let us take a moment and sing the glory of the Wrennegade.

As far as I've looked up about knife throwing it seems like there is no real way to learn other than practice, practice, practice. I've studied some web pages on how to throw but it would seem there are different opinions on the subject. Some people say hold the knife by the blade. Others would have you hold the handle. Some prefer a 45 degree angle, others slightly more acute. Weight placement is arguably on the front, back or balanced between both feet. It would seem everyone has a different method for throwing their knives.

Well, I decided to blaze my own trail. I opened up a closet in the living room and decided to just try them out. I found that if I stand three feet away from the door, I hit every single time. So if you come within three feet of me, I have deadly accuracy. Beyond that however, I can't really control the amount of spin on the knife so it's more a matter of chance whether the correct rotation angle will result thus allowing me to actually be able to land the right end of the knife in my target. My roommate by the way, has yet to see the mangled inside of the closet door. Although after she reads this, it probably won't be long until we have a talk about where I'm allowed to practice.

I have managed thus far to get three hits in a row, which, let me tell you, is one of the most satisfying things I have ever done. The feeling one gets when throwing a knife and having it land in a door is an almost religious experience. Once I master the ability to do it with any sort of proficiency, I can't even imagine every being able to stop.

I have yet to create an amusing target for the back of the closet door. Suggestions are welcome, I promise to post a picture once I put it up.