You Could Win A Trip To Orlando!

Admit it, folks.

You got up this morning and thought to yourself, "Ooh... I can't wait to see what Adrienne has written today! I am a titter with anticipation. I'm going to scamper over to my computer and check it out." Which you did, as per usual, to peruse the 5 paragraph format for hidden subtext, secret thoughts and clues as to what might be running through this Scandanavian head sitting on German peasant stock shoulders. You wanted an allegorical exposition about one ostensibly neutral topic that acts as a stand in for what's really going on. A cryptic tit for tat, as if i hadn't noticed. You thought that maybe, just maybe if you read far enough between the lines I might be putting out a dot/dot/dot, dash-dash-dash, dot/dot/dot about you.

Well I'm not giving it to you, baby. If you want that most passive form of communication from me you will have to wait another day. For on this fine afternoon there is nothing sub about my text. I am anti-McCarthism incarnate, no shadowy meanings or secret plots afoot. I say what I mean and mean what I say.

Because today you get FRITOS® Chili Pie.

What, you may ask, is FRITOS® Chili Pie? Well, I'll tell you, according to the bag of chips upon which the key to this heartattackapalooza was printed, at least one answer would appear to be Hot and Delicious.

I had concerns about posting this today, thought it might seem food obsessed, given my rant on cheese yesterday, but the Gods of Fritolay must be appeased. And I really AM food obsessed so who am I trying to kid? So here it is, the "recipe" I got off a chip bag.

CLASSIC FRITOS® CHILI PIE

Ingredients

One 10 oz bag of FRITOS® Corn Chips
Two 15 oz cans of HORMEL® Chili

Preparation

1) Empty cans of HORMEL® Chili into large microwave-safe bowl and cover loosely. Heat chili on High (100% power) for 3 to 5 minutes or until hot, stirring once. (All microwave ovens vary. Times given are approximate.)

2) Pour bag of FRITOS® Corn Chips into large serving container.

3) Stir the HORMEL® Chili, then pour the chili evenly over FRITOS® Corn Chips.

Now for those of you who need the directions on the pop-tarts bag, don't get tripped up with step 1. It may seem daunting all those numbers and qualifications on what to do. Go with your gut and note that though they don't mention it, you will also need a can opener. And in step three, don't worry too much about spreading evenly, that's really more of a guideline.

For those who got the "advanced" books when the reading class split into two groups, I offer these extra credit features:

You can jazz up your FRITOS® Chili Pie by adding these features to taste:
*1 cup shredded cheese -- add to top of Fritos Chili Pie® and stir
*2-5 chopped green onion stalks into HORMEL® Chili prior to cooking
*Chopped jalapenos (to taste) into HORMEL® Chili prior to cooking

By the way, if you were wondering, HORMEL® is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods, LLC.

Now this is the Classic FRITOS® chili pie recipe. For those opting for a more contemporary flair you are encouraged to visit www.fritoschilipie.com for the "creamy" version of the dish as well as other favorites like: FRITOS® Chili Pie Chili Dogs, FRITOS® Chili Chowder with Chips, and my personal favorite FRITOS® Chili Pie in a Bag.

So what is FRITOS® Chili Pie? It's crap is what it is. You think this post is a cop-out?

You bet it is.