WARNING: Not for the faint of heart
Don't read this post if you're grossed out easily. I need to vent about how icky I feel and I'm not in the mood to come up with witty stand-in words or metaphors to describe what's really going on.
Bleh. Sorry for not writing yesterday, friends. I worked in the morning, hit the gym and went to see a movie with a friend. Somewhere in the middle of that I got sick. Really sick. And by the time I got home, though I was planning on writing a little something here, I just didn't have the mental energy. The attention was too busy being diverted to the "Am I going to sneeze again? Yes... No. No wait, YES! No... I guess I not aft- ACHOO" center of the brain. I don't know how illness goes from zero to sixty so fast, but suffice to say I'm not in a good way this morning. My body is waging war on me and boy oh boy is it winning. I am a sad casualty in its quest to conquer.
Mainly I'm full of snot. My nose at this point is so blocked that it really has ceased to be anything but a decorative facial piece. One that needs to be constantly maintained at that. The tissue fibers also seem to increase my propensity to sneeze, dash cunning from the R & D people at Kleenex. One sets the stage to need a second and so on and so on. I'm starting to get that "been blown so many times the skin is wearing off" red look that is so fashionable these days. A by product of which seems to be removing all the natural oil from the area around my nose which my body happily produces again in over abundance. Red and oily... Very chic.
They say for nose excretion that clear is bad because it means allergies and green is good because it means a cold, which goes away. I think that's what they say... I'm pretty sure. Anyway, let's hope that's what they say because it's green mucus city over here and not just from the nose. Oh man, this is really gross but kind of cool: So I woke up this morning and my eyes wouldn't open. It was that thick a layer of goop. But, there was one green morning friend from my eyes that was shaped, I kind you not, in the form of a very small koala. Could be a new form of tea leaf reading, the stuff you pull out of your eyes in the morning determines your future. I guess I'm either moving to Australia or becomeing a zoologist.
I actually find the raspy thing kind of fun. I like trying on a different voice for a few days and since I don't smoke I'll never get another chance to sound like a cancer throated old lady. The only downside of that deep throaty sound is all the coughing that precipitates it. I don't mind the coughing in general but the back of the throat tickle that won't go away makes me crazy. You just can't get it out. It seems to go away for a couple minutes when I'm using a Halls cough drop. But I ran out of the 50 pack last night around 3 am. Big suck let me tell you. The cough is on the lam though. Like the preverbial Ginger Bread it's making a run from those who would seek it out. As such it has gone from a throat centered location to a more deep chested kind of hack. A good strong full body throttle cough. A la a consumptive, if you will. I'm so pale and my cheeks are so rosey... Cough cough...
I've got a headache and I'm just a wee bit naseous. Woo hoo. The fun just doesn't end. You know when everything just feels a little fuzzy? It's such a weird sensation. My tongue doesn't taste things right, my ears feel plugged, and it might just be paranoia but I feel like I don't even see as well. I was heading into the kitchen this morning and seriously just walked directly into the door frame. I have a huge bruise on my arm now and I can't even get mad about it because it was born from total and complete stupidity. I just walked into a door.
I'm also really sore. I can't tell if that comes from the gym yesterday or from the sick. Or the walking head on into a solid wood surface. But either way it isn't helping matters. Anyway, I won't whine much more lest I let this blog get any more self-indulgent than it already is. I took a bunch of pills, one of them has to do something. Hopefully the Nyquil and bad Netflix movies will sufficiently knock me out for a bit. Because I of course woke up with the sun again.
Oh and one last thing: If someone brings me chicken noodle soup I'll be your love-slave for life.
After I get better of course. No one wants a snotty love-slave.
Bleh. Sorry for not writing yesterday, friends. I worked in the morning, hit the gym and went to see a movie with a friend. Somewhere in the middle of that I got sick. Really sick. And by the time I got home, though I was planning on writing a little something here, I just didn't have the mental energy. The attention was too busy being diverted to the "Am I going to sneeze again? Yes... No. No wait, YES! No... I guess I not aft- ACHOO" center of the brain. I don't know how illness goes from zero to sixty so fast, but suffice to say I'm not in a good way this morning. My body is waging war on me and boy oh boy is it winning. I am a sad casualty in its quest to conquer.
Mainly I'm full of snot. My nose at this point is so blocked that it really has ceased to be anything but a decorative facial piece. One that needs to be constantly maintained at that. The tissue fibers also seem to increase my propensity to sneeze, dash cunning from the R & D people at Kleenex. One sets the stage to need a second and so on and so on. I'm starting to get that "been blown so many times the skin is wearing off" red look that is so fashionable these days. A by product of which seems to be removing all the natural oil from the area around my nose which my body happily produces again in over abundance. Red and oily... Very chic.
They say for nose excretion that clear is bad because it means allergies and green is good because it means a cold, which goes away. I think that's what they say... I'm pretty sure. Anyway, let's hope that's what they say because it's green mucus city over here and not just from the nose. Oh man, this is really gross but kind of cool: So I woke up this morning and my eyes wouldn't open. It was that thick a layer of goop. But, there was one green morning friend from my eyes that was shaped, I kind you not, in the form of a very small koala. Could be a new form of tea leaf reading, the stuff you pull out of your eyes in the morning determines your future. I guess I'm either moving to Australia or becomeing a zoologist.
I actually find the raspy thing kind of fun. I like trying on a different voice for a few days and since I don't smoke I'll never get another chance to sound like a cancer throated old lady. The only downside of that deep throaty sound is all the coughing that precipitates it. I don't mind the coughing in general but the back of the throat tickle that won't go away makes me crazy. You just can't get it out. It seems to go away for a couple minutes when I'm using a Halls cough drop. But I ran out of the 50 pack last night around 3 am. Big suck let me tell you. The cough is on the lam though. Like the preverbial Ginger Bread it's making a run from those who would seek it out. As such it has gone from a throat centered location to a more deep chested kind of hack. A good strong full body throttle cough. A la a consumptive, if you will. I'm so pale and my cheeks are so rosey... Cough cough...
I've got a headache and I'm just a wee bit naseous. Woo hoo. The fun just doesn't end. You know when everything just feels a little fuzzy? It's such a weird sensation. My tongue doesn't taste things right, my ears feel plugged, and it might just be paranoia but I feel like I don't even see as well. I was heading into the kitchen this morning and seriously just walked directly into the door frame. I have a huge bruise on my arm now and I can't even get mad about it because it was born from total and complete stupidity. I just walked into a door.
I'm also really sore. I can't tell if that comes from the gym yesterday or from the sick. Or the walking head on into a solid wood surface. But either way it isn't helping matters. Anyway, I won't whine much more lest I let this blog get any more self-indulgent than it already is. I took a bunch of pills, one of them has to do something. Hopefully the Nyquil and bad Netflix movies will sufficiently knock me out for a bit. Because I of course woke up with the sun again.
Oh and one last thing: If someone brings me chicken noodle soup I'll be your love-slave for life.
After I get better of course. No one wants a snotty love-slave.
posted by A at 8:42 AM
2 Comments:
Oh, man, if only I had some chicken noodle soup packets....
I envy your ability to write about things, no matter what they are.
I have chicken Noodle soup, most certainly. But, you sound infectious.
Green = bacterial infection.
Clear is good.
Drink a billion gallons of water. It's the only way. Well, that and Vitamin C.
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