People are dumb
I'm annoyed right now. For a couple reasons, reasons I'm not going to go into below because I'm not airing my personal life for the world to read. Even if I am annoyed with people near and dear to me I have enough respect for them not to write about it here.
But that's not the case for random stupid people I don't know who annoy me. I have no compunction whatsoever to stop myself from railing on them for a little while.
For those who don't know, I have a profile on match.com, a dating web site. My philosophy on internet dating is a suprisingly positive one despite some notable past horror stories. Suffice to say I now prompt any new prospect with the two questions: 1) Did you vote for Bush? and 2) Do you have girlfriend in Ohio? At one point in my life I expected a firm No to both of these questions was an automatic given for anyone on a date with me. Aparently, this is not so much the case.
In any event, my profile's up there. I really should take it down. I'm not looking for anyone at the moment, hands being if not full, not exactly empty. And not even taking into account that I'm super busy with performing, I don't do dating more than one person at a time anyway... But as there have been no "talks" about status, not even hints at such, I like getting the daily emails from would be suitors. I don't really want date them, but it makes me feel nice that based on a few paragraphs and some pictures they'd want to get to know me. A little daily confidence boost if you will.
And then there are the crazies. Who also provide their own brand of entertainment. Like the 37 year old Russian man who said even if I didn't want to date him he hoped I had a beautiful and wonderful life. Or the 56 year old Dupont exec who said we could either meet for a drink or he could get me a job. Or my favorite, the guy who said he was sorry but way too old for me but boy was I hot and was my mom single and cute. I can't make these things up. The number of amusing stories that have come out of the experience could fill a book. But I'm digressing.
The point is that even the crazies tend to be amusing. Even when they're really unintelligent, even when they're lewd, even when they sound like they hear voices, they usually make me smile on some level. But today I got an email that just pissed me off. Maybe it was the fact that I was already in a funk to begin with. Who can say. But read this and you tell me:
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From: ImAStupidhead@talkmatch.com [names have been changed to protect the moronic]
Date received: April 25, 2005
Subject: Hi
A little advice for you?
You left no room for questions in you profile. So How am I supposed to start a conversation.
OH and ps -
not too keen about your first picture, not hot. I would rather try the last one. mmmm. Just stating my openion.
Think you can keep up?
[a number, presumably a cell phone inserted here]
ImAStupidhead
------
That's just rude. Not one sentence in that email does anything other than try to put me down. Am I crazy? In what universe did he think that would work? "Hey baby, you're so right! Even though you can't spell or punctuate I don't know how I lived all these years without someone putting me in my place."
I couldn't help myself, I had to respond. I mean come on, he put a question mark where there should be a period and a period where there should be a question mark.
-----
To: ImAStupidhead@talkmatch.com
Date Sent: April 25
Subject: A little advice for yourself
Hey there ImAStupidhead,
How lovely and eye opening it was to get your email, I spent quite some time pondering the intelligent points you posed. And in the spirit of self-exploration and growth I thought I might send some of my own words of wisdom your way.
You just might have better luck if you don't insult someone while propositioning them. Also, if you want women to answer your emails, that extra effort to double check with a dictionary is always a point in your favor.
As for keeping up, even if I hadn't slept for a week and had gone without food and water in the meanwhile could you even begin to try.
Just stating my opInion,
Adrienne
------
Is that bitchy? Yeah. I know it is. But you have to admit, it's pretty good too...
But that's not the case for random stupid people I don't know who annoy me. I have no compunction whatsoever to stop myself from railing on them for a little while.
For those who don't know, I have a profile on match.com, a dating web site. My philosophy on internet dating is a suprisingly positive one despite some notable past horror stories. Suffice to say I now prompt any new prospect with the two questions: 1) Did you vote for Bush? and 2) Do you have girlfriend in Ohio? At one point in my life I expected a firm No to both of these questions was an automatic given for anyone on a date with me. Aparently, this is not so much the case.
In any event, my profile's up there. I really should take it down. I'm not looking for anyone at the moment, hands being if not full, not exactly empty. And not even taking into account that I'm super busy with performing, I don't do dating more than one person at a time anyway... But as there have been no "talks" about status, not even hints at such, I like getting the daily emails from would be suitors. I don't really want date them, but it makes me feel nice that based on a few paragraphs and some pictures they'd want to get to know me. A little daily confidence boost if you will.
And then there are the crazies. Who also provide their own brand of entertainment. Like the 37 year old Russian man who said even if I didn't want to date him he hoped I had a beautiful and wonderful life. Or the 56 year old Dupont exec who said we could either meet for a drink or he could get me a job. Or my favorite, the guy who said he was sorry but way too old for me but boy was I hot and was my mom single and cute. I can't make these things up. The number of amusing stories that have come out of the experience could fill a book. But I'm digressing.
The point is that even the crazies tend to be amusing. Even when they're really unintelligent, even when they're lewd, even when they sound like they hear voices, they usually make me smile on some level. But today I got an email that just pissed me off. Maybe it was the fact that I was already in a funk to begin with. Who can say. But read this and you tell me:
------
From: ImAStupidhead@talkmatch.com [names have been changed to protect the moronic]
Date received: April 25, 2005
Subject: Hi
A little advice for you?
You left no room for questions in you profile. So How am I supposed to start a conversation.
OH and ps -
not too keen about your first picture, not hot. I would rather try the last one. mmmm. Just stating my openion.
Think you can keep up?
[a number, presumably a cell phone inserted here]
ImAStupidhead
------
That's just rude. Not one sentence in that email does anything other than try to put me down. Am I crazy? In what universe did he think that would work? "Hey baby, you're so right! Even though you can't spell or punctuate I don't know how I lived all these years without someone putting me in my place."
I couldn't help myself, I had to respond. I mean come on, he put a question mark where there should be a period and a period where there should be a question mark.
-----
To: ImAStupidhead@talkmatch.com
Date Sent: April 25
Subject: A little advice for yourself
Hey there ImAStupidhead,
How lovely and eye opening it was to get your email, I spent quite some time pondering the intelligent points you posed. And in the spirit of self-exploration and growth I thought I might send some of my own words of wisdom your way.
You just might have better luck if you don't insult someone while propositioning them. Also, if you want women to answer your emails, that extra effort to double check with a dictionary is always a point in your favor.
As for keeping up, even if I hadn't slept for a week and had gone without food and water in the meanwhile could you even begin to try.
Just stating my opInion,
Adrienne
------
Is that bitchy? Yeah. I know it is. But you have to admit, it's pretty good too...
posted by A at 9:45 PM
1 Comments:
Ha ha. That's awesome. Good response!
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